The two-week gap between the end of the school year and the start of summer program is one of those things, you don’t KNOW is a thing, until you’re in the thing. (We’re in it.) Big M announces "no school today" every single morning with an expression I can’t decode — she might be happy, she might be devastated, she might be experiencing some combination of both that only really makes sense when you're three — and at this point I've stopped trying to figure it out. We've established a détente. It’s fine.
Also this month: I got voluntold for a pretty big project at work, one that old me would have been excited about. Current me, who is still dreaming of 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep at a time and repeats “gentle hands!” 500 times a day was like: sigh. Fine.
The thing is, this isn't even a crisis. We're fine. But it’s easy to feel how tightly everything is already wound, and when just one more thing goes sideways — one sick day, one closed school, one sitter who cancels — the whole thing just…descends. When you live a reality where every hour assigned, every person irreplaceable, every dollar committed, systems don’t bend- they just snap.
So: our take on the three unglamorous things you should build when nothing is on fire, so they're there when something is.
In this issue:
✅ The contacts list you actually need (and the conversation you probably haven't had yet)
✅ The childcare fund that changes your options at 7am
✅ The work scripts to prep, so you don't have to do it in a crisis
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🧘♀️ The list. (And the conversation that gets you there.)
👉 The problem isn't that you don't have people. It's that you haven't answered the specific question that turns them into people you can actually call at 7am when daycare/nanny/sitter calls mid-meeting.
We’ve found the more helpful framing to be: what's the minimum notice someone needs to show up?
Not who loves your kid most. Not who lives closest. Who can actually show up in two hours — and do they know you might ask them to?
Write a note somewhere you’ll actually find again (Notes app, Google Doc, etc) then write down: name, contact, minimum notice required, what they can cover. That's the list. Then make sure to share with anyone else that needs this.
BUT- here’s the kicker. If you're drawing a blank on slots two and three (or even 1- those ‘villages’ are mighty elusive) … that's a sign you need to have some conversations now.
It's a slightly awkward ask and it goes something like: "Hey, weird question — if I ever had a genuine morning emergency, could I actually call you?" Honestly, most people say yes, and we always recommend offering something in return and meaning it. That way, you're not asking for a favor, you're establishing a reciprocal thing, which is a different conversation, and a much easier one.
[We touched on the "know your first call" version of this back in August's sick season issue — that was the "don't overthink it" version. This is the version where you actually write it down.]
Final note: Rank by response speed, not closeness. The person who can be there in 90 minutes matters more right now than the person who adores your kid but needs a day's notice.
💸 The $200 that changes the math at 7am.
👉 Did you know that last-minute childcare costs 30-50% more than scheduled care??! (Which is already expensive??) Yea, we weren’t shocked either.
BUT the thing is, most of us haven’t explicitly planned for this in our budget. Even $200-300 in a separate account covers two or three emergency days. The number matters less than the account being genuinely separate, or at least earmarked clearly, so you’re not spending it on something else.
Why? Well, the research behind this is from economist Sendhil Mullainathan's work on scarcity — having a small financial buffer doesn't just change your options, it changes how you think under pressure. You make objectively worse decisions when you can't afford the solution you're looking at. The fund is cognitive slack as much as it is financial slack.
AND when your contacts list falls through anyway — because sometimes it does — here's are the backup options worth having on your phone:
Sittercity: Browse local, background-checked child care providers in your area who are explicitly available for same-day or urgent care bookings.
UrbanSitter: Highly effective for last-minute needs, this platform features profiles indicating how fast sitters respond (often within 3 minutes!) and whether they are booked by repeat families. As the name implies, better for urban areas.
Winnie: This directory will let you filter for local licensed child care centers that accept part-time, drop-in, or backup care (sometimes a bit easier or more reassuring than a solo stranger). Also, this one doesn’t require a membership!
Care.com: This offers the broadest network, good for when you need options rather than speed.
Now don’t forget: check your employee benefits. A lot of companies offer backup care days through Bright Horizons or Care.com that most people have never touched!
Psst: The employer backup care thing — seriously, check. It takes two minutes and a surprising number of people have this sitting unused.
💬 Write the email now. Not at 7am.
👉 Often, one of the worst part of a childcare emergency at work isn't missing the meeting…it's the 20 minutes we spend trying to word the message while also dealing with the actual emergency.
The problem isn't that you don't know what to say. It's that writing it in the middle of a crisis makes it feel like confessing something — and you end up either over-explaining or going quiet, and neither is good. The shame spiral is real, and it wastes time you don't have.
Pre-writing the message removes it entirely. Now when something comes up, you just fill in the brackets.
I have three versions saved (manager, client, Slack) → [grab them here]
Oh, and also? "Family situation" is a complete sentence. You do not owe the details.
K that’s all. You’re the best and we love you.
-CK “Needs to Find 3 Friends” Fuller (Editor) & the JB Crew 🫡
P.S. Next week: "just have a date night" is advice from someone with a grandmother who lives nearby and charges nothing. We're talking about what actually works when that's not your life.
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