Today’s thought: Parenting can be a slow identity theft.
Well, ok…there are those parents who still carve out regular, dedicated time for themselves and their hobbies, and you know what? Bless ‘em (and you, if that’s you). Now I have to imagine they're the kind of people who get up at 4am (uhh hard pass) but for many - dare I say most?- of us, that is very much not the case.
And so, you sometimes stumble into moments where you start to miss the person you used to be. Or the relationship you used to have. Or the body you used to sport. For a lot of us, those moments hit with a song. One that brings back awesome memories, and then you find out that song is now part of the "divorced dad rock" genre and you think: what the actual f*ck has happened.
Parenting does change you. Sometimes you lose pieces you wish you could keep. But it also builds new pieces. Develops old ones in new ways. That process is, like so much of parenting, a little bittersweet.
This issue is about not losing sight of who you were, while also giving yourself credit for who you're becoming. Even if that person goes to bed at 9pm and has developed very strong opinions about the best diaper cream.
In this issue:
✅ The 2-minute version of the person you used to be (yes, really)
✅ The resume you've been quietly building without knowing it
✅ Three tiny things to try that don't require a hobby or a garage
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💗 Give the old you a 2-minute cameo.
👉 Here's a low-stakes way to feel like yourself again: find the 2-minute version of something you used to love.
Used to paint? Sketch one thing on a sticky note with a cool marker. Used to run? Lace up your shoes and at least do some mobility stretches. Used to cook actual food? Make one interesting sauce on a Sunday.
The goal isn't to "get back into it." It's just to remind your brain that person is still in there.
Alternatively- trigger that version of you with music. Make a playlist of songs from when you were 22 (or let’s be real, just open your music player of choice and hit play. You know you still listen to the same stuff). Play it on your commute or in the pickup line. Your brain will do the rest.
(Just brace yourself for the moment you realize Third Eye Blind is now "classic rock." It's a lot.)
💬 You've been building a resume you don't know you have.
👉 Parenting hasn't just taken from you. It's also been training you.
The skills you've been building for the last few years? Real. And good.
Time management. You get multiple humans out the door before 8am.
Prioritization. You've triaged a meltdown and a work crisis at the exact same time.
Negotiation. You have talked a toddler off a ledge about wearing shoes.
Crisis management. You have MacGyver'd a diaper situation with zero supplies on hand.
Emotional intelligence. You can read a room (specifically a 2-year-old's room) instantly.
If an interviewer ever asks your greatest strengths, you've got material.
(Still in the "is any of this sustainable?" spiral? We wrote the triage for that too → Should I Quit My Job? And Other 3AM Thoughts)
Want to see what else you're working with? Take the VIA Character Strengths Survey at viacharacter.org. Free, 15 minutes, tells you your top strengths. Most parents take it and their #1 has nothing to do with caregiving. You might find out you're more "Strategic" than "Nurturing." Jarring in the best way.
🧘♀️ Try something new. But make it tiny.
👉 Not "pick up a new hobby." More like: find something small enough to do after bedtime, that doesn't require clearing shelf space, and that you could theoretically finish.
Three fun ideas we’ve been eyeing:
The Woobles — crochet kits designed for adults who have no time. Each project takes about 2 hours total, broken into short, 20 minute sessions. The whole point is that you finish something. (Also extremely giftable, especially their beginner box.)
Kiriki Press — embroidery kits. Small, beautiful, doable in 20-minute chunks after the kids are down. The kind of thing you can leave on the coffee table and come back to, or make for your kiddo. (I love their zodiak constellation series.)
Piecework Puzzles — stay with me. Their puzzles are designed for adults: gorgeous art, not 1,000 pieces of identical sky. Do 30 minutes on a tray. Put it away (somewhere high, out of reach). Come back later. No commitment, screen free “
None of these require you to become a person who has hobbies. They just give you 20 minutes of something that isn't parenting.
💼 This Week’s Work WTF
Inspired by real life events.
Scenario:
Your annual review comes back positive. Nice words. No mention of the fact that you reorganized the team's workflow, covered for two colleagues, onboarded a new hire, and kept everything moving through six months of pure chaos. (et al)
What We Wish We Could Say:
"Helpful feedback. I'd also like to submit my own review, if that's an option."
Steal This Response:
"I'm glad the feedback was positive — I'd love to take 20 minutes to walk through some of the specific contributions this year that might not be fully captured here. Do you have time now or this week?"
K that’s all. You’re the best and we love you.
-CK “Divorced Dad Rock Devotee” Fuller (Editor) & the JB Crew 🫡
P.S. Next week: the unofficial list of things real parents quietly stopped doing. Matching socks. Nightly baths. Thank-you cards. And somehow, life got better.
*Quick note: Some links in here may be affiliate links. You know the drill- if you buy something, we might earn a small commission that helps offset the time we spend making JuiceBox. Thank you for supporting this project of ours.