How to Get Your Toddler Home From Trick-or-Treating and other tips

We are in the middle of not one but TWO nap transitions over here. Big M has (mostly) dropped her nap entirely, and Little L is well on her way to one nap, which means any quiet time is evaporating before my eyes. 🫠 It also means I have zero idea when we're trick-or-treating. Somewhere between whoever-naps-when and whoever-melts-down-when. (Is it a good thing it gets dark so early now? Not sure.)

And then there's the getting-home part. Last year Big M was an absolute doorbell-ringing menace. She was NOT ready to go home, and she would have happily hit every house twice, once on the way out and again on the way back. The only way we got her into the stroller was letting her start on the candy. Now she's three and a lot faster, so this year is going to require some advanced parenting. Wish us luck.

So. I promised you a Halloween where nobody melts down. Here's our plan for actually pulling that off.

In this issue:

✅ Why the costume should be boring by the 31st (and why you should wear it to Target)

✅ How to get a toddler home from trick-or-treating, plus what colonoscopies have to do with it

✅ The candy plan where they eat as much as they want (yes, really)

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👉 If your kid loved the costume in the store and then spent the first three houses tugging at the collar, shoving the hood off, and asking to take it OFF, a) same and b) it's probably not the costume. It's that everything about it is new: stiff fabric, tags, elastic, a hood that flops into their eyes. And Halloween night is already a lot.

The fix occupational therapists suggest is practice. Have them wear it a few times before the 31st, to dinner, on a Target run, at the daycare parade, so by Halloween it's familiar and they've stopped noticing it.

A few things that make it easier:

- Wash it first and cut the tags. A wash softens stiff costume fabric.

- Put their own soft clothes underneath. A long-sleeve tee and leggings or pajamas they already love, so the scratchy part isn't touching their skin. (Also warmer.)

- Skip the mask. The AAP actually recommends face paint or a hat instead, because masks can block their vision. The Snazaroo Face Paint Kit (~$17) is water-activated and washes off with soap and water.

- Don’t forget to pack their regular jacket. If the costume comes off at house three, the night keeps going.

(Still need a costume in the first place? Last year's last-minute costume ideas still hold up. We're going dinosaur. Probably.)

👉 If you've ever been begged for "just a few more houses" and then carried a sobbing pirate home under one arm, the science says you can stop earlier.

Also, if you have boomer parents, you've probably heard more about colonoscopies than you ever wanted to. So bear with us: there's a study where patients whose procedure ended a little more gently remembered the whole thing as less awful, even though it lasted longer. Psychologist Daniel Kahneman called it the peak-end rule: our brains file an experience under its best (or worst) moment and how it ended, not how long it lasted. Which is basically trick-or-treating. 😂

Ten houses that end in giggles beat thirty that end on someone's lawn. Easy to say. Harder to do with a kid who just figured out doorbells = candy. Our plan this year:

- Trick-or-treat toward home. Start at the far end of your route and work your way back, so every house is new and the last door is yours. No doubling back past houses they've already "done."

- Count down in houses, not minutes. Lovevery's child development expert suggests a 2-minute warning, a 1-minute warning, then "All done!" On Halloween that's "two more houses," "last house," "all done."

- Give them a choice that isn't "stay." "Do you want to hold my hand or ride in the stroller?"

- Candy for the road. Yes, it's a bribe. AND it worked for us last year. (See Tip 3 for why we've stopped feeling bad about it.)

- Give them a new job at home. The doorbell-lover gets to be on the other side of the door now, handing out candy to the big kids.

Final note: quit while you're ahead. If they're asking to go again next year, that's the win.

👉 If the after-trick-or-treat candy negotiation is your least favorite part of the night, here's your permission slip.

Ellyn Satter, the dietitian behind the "Division of Responsibility" approach that a lot of pediatric dietitians use, has very specific Halloween advice: on Halloween night and the next day, let them sort it, gloat over it, and eat as much as they want, with as little interference from you as possible. After that, the candy gets put away and shows up at meals and snacks: a couple of small pieces with dinner, more at snack time. Her reasoning is that kids who get regular access to sweets eat them more moderately, and kids who are restricted get fixated.

Then, once the two days are up:

- They pick their favorites. We like 10. They keep those for the meal-and-snack rotation.

- The rest goes to the Candy Fairy (or the Switch Witch, depending on your house's lore), who swaps it overnight for a small toy or a book. The Switch Witch picture book (~$12) does the explaining for you.

(One thing: for the under-4 crowd, hard candy, gum and anything with whole nuts are choking hazards, so those obvioulsy go straight to the swap pile.)

Psst: some dentist offices run candy buy-backs in early November. Worth a call to yours before the fairy pile goes in the trash.

K that's all. You're the best and we love you.

-CK "Candy Tax Professional" Fuller (Editor) & the JB Crew 🫡

P.S. Next week: the holiday card photo, aka how to get everyone looking at the same camera for four seconds. Maybe.

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